The Wordguise Alembic


Where the oxymoron meets the ham sandwich

The Candidates and Their Issues

April 1st, 2016

hanging-chad-guy-570x430I thought it would be fun to compare the presidential candidates’ opinions on the important issues of the day. It would be easy, I foolishly thought, because each one has an “issues” page on their website. (direct links at the end of this post). I’d compare their positions on things like “education” and “national defense” etc. Then I’d whip up a quick, concise comparison that would clarify my own thoughts and make me sound smart when I argue with relatives.

After spending several hours I realized there was a good reason why large news organizations have not already done this: It can’t be done. These candidates don’t agree on what an issue is, what the purpose of an issues page is, or even if that page should feature written words.

I started by comparing the simplest, most general things about each “issues” page.

The first difference is they don’t think the country faces the same number of critical issues. Hillary lists 30, Sanders lists 28. Trump lists 20, Kasich lists 11, and Cruz lists 9.

The second difference is that, while Clinton, Sanders, and Cruz took the traditional approach of listing issues facing the country as a whole, like national security etc., both Kasich and Trump included issues facing them alone. For example, Trump lists as issues, “Trump University Truth,” “Self Funding,” and “Life Changing Experiences.” John Kasich lists “Electability.” While “self funding” and “electability” are certainly important in a sales pitch, it’s a stretch to consider them national issues in the traditional sense.

Cruz took a much broader approach than the others. Rather than focusing on specific policies, problems, or plans, he talks about the philosophical issues facing the country. His nine “issues” include “Religious Liberty,” “Life, Marriage and Family” and “Stand With Israel.” Because his main appeal is a firm conservative stance on the Constitution rather than specific plans, this makes some sense. But it made my own task harder. How do you compare “Second Amendendment” with “Alzheimer’s Research?” And how do those compare to “Electability” or “Trump University?” It’s no wonder the media has not focused on “issues,” whatever those are.

Complicating the task, they disagreed on the assignment itself.

Clinton and Sanders both thought it was a term paper on the theme “issues facing the country;” they thought they were supposed to explain their specific plans for dealing with them. Like annoying, over-achieving A-students, their reports are complete with footnotes, references, links to additional information, articles they’ve written on each subject, and arguments supporting their plan.

If I had to summarize them in one word, Hillary’s word is “reform.” She wants to expand the programs she likes, reform the ones that could work better, and only eliminate or reverse a few things, like Citizen’s United. She argues hard for each of her 30 issues.

Bernie’s word is “progressive.” He wants to correct imbalances and  empower the poor and disenfranchised. Twenty of his 28 issues boil down to this.

Democrats apparently love details. Not content with large, vague ideas, Sanders goes into details as fine as making election day a national holiday, and removing marijuana from the federal list of outlawed drugs. Clinton lists raising research money for Alzheimer’s from $586 million per year to a very specific $2 billion per year.  It’s like they were applying to be CEO of a company with over 2 million employees and a budget five times larger than Apple Computer. Which, of course, they are. Beyond merely attaching resumes, they outlined specific examples of how they intend to govern. That’s great, but it’s pretty hard for a guy like me to go through all that stuff and compare it to other job applicants who took a much different approach. Therefore, I suggest you go to each of their websites, choose an issue that’s important to you, and read what they have to say. Both of these Democrats like what Obama’s done. Clinton intends to do more of the same. Sanders intends to do MUCH more of the same.  Their biggest difference is that Sanders would work to eliminate most trade deals with foreign countries. Clinton would work to improve them.

Trump thought the assignment was to repeat the case for why we should vote for him. Perhaps out of kindness to citizens who are literacy-impaired, his issues page downplays reading in favor of little videos of him explaining each item. Nearly all are less than one minute. In one word, Trump’s plan is “Trump.”

One of his major issues is “The Economy.” His plan for the economy is 25 seconds long, including opening music. I typed that one verbatim. Trump, probably reading from a carefully crafted script, says “One of the things I’m going to do, and largely with our great tax plan where everybody’s taxes is going down, is we’re going to grow our economy. We have to get rid of the 19 trillion in debt. So unfair! So unfair! So TOTALLY unfair to our young people! We are not going to leave you with that burden.” That’s it. That’s his plan for the economy. As Dave Barry might say, “I am not making this up.” Other Trump videos are longer. The one about the national issue of “Trump University Truth” is nearly 4 minutes long. Based on the size of the video, Mr T. feels that this is more complex and important than “the economy.” In fact, by that metric, “Trump University Truth” is the most important issue facing America.

Trump’s video labeled “trade war” is 38 seconds long and says that, if a company moves out of the U.S., we have to tax their goods at the rate of 38 percent coming back into the country. That’s the entirely of his plan. His video on solving the Israel/Palestine problem is a bit less than a minute. After the opening music, he professes his love for Israel, then outlines his plan. His plan is to remain “somewhat neutral” and “I’ll try.”

I could not believe Mr. Trump’s campaign was this shallow, so I went back to his website. It turns out he lists six additional “issues” under the category of “positions.” In that part of the site his opinions are comparable to some of his opponents, with written words and everything. Under “healthcare” he supports repealing Obamacare and replacing it with something better. Although it’s pretty vague, that future plan will allow sale of health insurance across state lines and making health insurance premiums fully tax deductible. He would make Medicaid a block grant program, letting each state control how it spends the federal money. Those are the big points. Under the category “U.S. China trade,” Trump would immediately declare China a currency manipulator because he thinks that will force them to negotiate. He would also “force China to uphold intellectual property laws” and “put an end to China’s illegal export subsidies and lax labor and environmental standards.” Those struck me as goals rather than actions or plans. I don’t think a President has the power to change Chinese law. Similarly, under Veterans affairs and his other positions, he usually outlines goals rather than plans. Some of his ideas may sound great, like “firing corrupt and incompetent executives” but without a plan for changing federal hiring and firing rules to allow that, it lacks heft.

On the other hand, Trump’s “tax reform” position  is actually quite interesting. He wants to simplify the tax code, reduce taxes on low-income people, eliminate most deductions for high income folks. I am not smart enough to analyze this, and I’m skeptical because of the shallowness of his other ideas. If all his positions were this detailed and interesting, I might have to rethink my opinion of the man. But they aren’t.

Cruz thought the assignment was to create an outline of his core beliefs, with less emphasis on problems, specifics, or plans. He passionately defines what he believes, then refers to his past accomplishments, like arguing before the Supreme Court and supporting cheerleaders who wanted religious slogans on their banners. He had some success as a lawyer but beyond that, many of his accomplishments amount to voicing support for causes that proved unsuccessful. He spends less time on what he hopes to do in the future. For example, under Second Amendment, (one of his 11 issues) he describes what it is and why it’s important. The closest he comes to an action plan for the future is: “Ted Cruz has been a tireless defender of the Second Amendment.”

But Cruz does get specific about his plans regarding some issues. In one word, Cruz’s plan is to “eliminate.” From his website:
“To shrink the size and power of the federal government, the Cruz Five for Freedom plan eliminates the IRS, the Department of Education, the Department of Energy, the Department of Commerce, and the Department of Housing and Urban Development.  As President, Ted Cruz will appoint heads of each of those agencies whose sole charge will be to wind them down and determine whether any programs need to be preserved.” He would pass a “balanced budget amendment”and plans to establish a flat tax of ten percent on everyone. Regarding border security, “Ted Cruz will end Obama’s amnesty on day one, will end catch-and-release, increase deportations, stop sanctuary policies, and strengthen E-verify… he will suspend and audit H-1B visas and halt any increase in legal immigration so long as American unemployment remains unacceptably high… He will “end birthright citizenship.” He will “build a wall that works… increase aerial surveillance” “triple the number of Border Patrol agents” and “complete a biometric entry-exit tracking system” His website lists as an accomplishment that he introduced a bill to establish a five year minimum sentence for those who enter the country illegally, and that he has opposed efforts to establish any path to citizenship for those here illegally.

Cruz’s most interesting position, to me, came in an op ed he wrote, linked to his issues page, in which he calls for a “retention election” for every Supreme Court Justice every eight years. “Those justices deemed unfit for retention by both a majority of the American people as a whole and by majorities of the electorates in at least half of the 50 states will be removed from office and disqualified from future service on the Court.” This was prompted by his disagreement with the Roberts court rulings on Obamacare and same sex marriage.

Cruz does not spend any time defending his management skills or political skills or knowledge of issues like national defense. In his mind, the job of President is to support the Constitution and eliminate as much of the federal government as he can.

Conversely, Kasich (who is governor of Ohio) spends most of his time defending his management and political skills. He devotes much of his issues page to explaining what he has done in the past in Ohio, with the implication he’d do something similar in the future. For example, one of his issues is “Education;” On that one page alone, he uses the word “Ohio” twelve times. This is a bit confusing, because his main point, early on the page, is that the federal government should stay out of education and leave it to the states. He seems to argue that he did a great job with education in Ohio, and as President he hopes other governors will also do a great job, because it’s none of the federal government’s business. On his health care page he uses the word Ohio 7 times. On the “Fiscal Responsibility” page he refers to Ohio 6 times and makes no mention at all of what he might do as President.

In one word, Kasich’s plan is to “dismantle.” This surprised me, because he comes across as such a moderate when you watch him.

Kasich actually lists a “Strategy for Dismantling Washington.” He believes the federal government should return much of its power to the individual states. He want to “cut taxes,” pass a balanced budget amendment, “shrink and dismantle the Washington Bureaucracy” but increase defense spending by $102 billion. He wants to return control to the states for many areas now handled by a federal department, including transportation, education, labor, medicaid, low income assistance. He would approve the Keystone pipeline and eliminate “reckless regulations.”

He would specifically eliminate the Department of Commerce. This means the elimination of the National Weather Service, National Hurricane Center, and National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Suspecting those agencies might actually do useful stuff, he’d transfer their responsibilities to the Dept of Interior. He does not mention what he would do with the 47,000 employees of the Department of Commerce. The website implies that many, many other departments should be dismantled as well.

If you resonate with a word like “reform,” Hillary might be your candidate. If you like the word “progressive” you’re probably already feeling the Bern. If the word “Trump” excites you, we know what you like. If you like “eliminate” you’re a Cruz guy. If you like “dismantle” you’re a Kasich person.

To make that even more concise, the Democrats believe in “adding.” Given a problem, they see the solution as one of adding something: more money, a new agency, new energy or attention. The exception is the military. They think we already spend enough money, we need to spend it smarter.

The Republicans believe in “subtracting.” Given a problem, they would reduce taxes, reduce regulations, eliminate departments and programs. Except for the military. In every case, they think we need to add money to the military budget.

You can vote for adding or subtracting. If that sounds like an oversimplification, well, it’s that kind of election.  (just kidding. He didn’t secure that domain and someone else snagged it)

Can I name my new van Tonto?

February 9th, 2015

Naming vehicles is silly. On the other hand, I’ve named blank sheets of paper for a long time, and occasionally make money at it. I named one ream of blank paper “Jumper.” Others pages became Belinda, Marcus, Malcom, Billy Billy Billy, The Magician who was learning electronics, Miss Pounder the exercise instructor who inadvertently taught math, Bruce the Duck who saved the day, the evil Nightsmoke, Pon, Braindead the Algebra Student, and many more. Naming things is kind of what I do. Read the rest of this entry »

Jumper on Writing

October 7th, 2014

If you neglect a writing project for too long the characters go feral on you. That voice you’d been following clams up. The path of the plot disappears into shadows and fog; the magic idea that twinkled and fluttered in your peripheral vision stiffens into a scrap of lifeless cardboard. Read the rest of this entry »

Cicada Songs, Ebola Dreams

February 14th, 2014

I’ve read several popular books about diseases recently: Rabid, The Hot ZoneSmallpoxDisease, Spillover, and  Deadly Outbreaks. More books on a single topic than usual, but not with any project in mind. It just happened, the way it happens to folks who start to read books by Michael Connelly or Rex Stout. Several focussed on diseases that leap from animals to humans (“zoonotic” diseases). No curious person could resist daydreaming about some of the unsolved mysteries one encounters when reading about diseases like Ebola and Marburg. You play detective in your brain and then you almost certainly come up with your own crackpot theory, just like I did. Read the rest of this entry »

Excuses for Not Blogging

February 12th, 2014

I haven’t checked in here for a while, but I’ve got excuses.

First, obviously, I’m lazy. That’s the one trait I seem to share with many great writers. I’d write a blog post about it, but that seems like kind of a bother. Read the rest of this entry »

Political Plagiarism

November 6th, 2013

Rand Paul is upset that people caught him using lines from Wikipedia and elsewhere as if they were his own. He feels like a victim and wishes he could just duel someone to settle it all. Or spend a couple days in detention after school, but certainly not his whole career. His words, I hasten to admit. Personally, I think most of what he did was harmless and we should cut him some slack. Read the rest of this entry »

Goats and Pigs, Iodine and Thiamine: a Hypothesis

October 29th, 2013

It’s easy to decide that iodine deficiency plays some role in neurological diseases like ALS and Alzheimers. For over fifty years we’ve known that you’re much likelier to get one of these diseases if you spent your infancy in a region that’s deficient in iodine. Another example: exposure to the fungicide maneb dramatically increases the chances of getting a neurological disease from a toxin; maneb works by disrupting the use of iodine in animals. Our instincts shout that iodine must be involved; but we can’t say it out loud. Although iodine deficiency remains the number one cause of mental retardation in the world, we can’t prove it has a role in Alzheimer’s or ALS. No one has found a smoking gun. Read the rest of this entry »

A Warning Shot for Syria

September 1st, 2013

A criminal races down the city street clutching the purse he’s just snatched from an elderly woman. A policeman chases after him. The policeman yells, “Stop! I’m a policeman! Stop! Really! I mean it! You stop right this minute!”

Read the rest of this entry »

P.G. Wodehouse: A Life in Letters

May 13th, 2013

I read Wodehouse when I was a kid, and he cracked me up. This collection of letters cracked me up too, and that’s the one element other reviewers assume you know and forget to mention– this guy was funny, and his letters are also funny. Read the rest of this entry »

April Sleet and Monkey Eyes

April 4th, 2013

April snow, bittersweet like wedding tears,
Catches me every time.
Winter, a grizzled gray monkey,
Is a pest in the bananas;
Everyone’s glad to see him killed off.
But an April snow is that last monkey
We finally discover after a long
Day of exterminating
Clinging to the highest branch,
Staring at the knife with wide eyes,
A question on his forehead,
And we hesitate.

The snow floats fat and wet, like popcorn,
Or little white kittens,
Chasing the juicy gray fish to the ground.
Each feather tries to win the sidewalk,
But is washed away by warm minnows of spring.
Each drop washes off a bit of the man,
Exposing the wide-open monkey eyes.

“April Sleet and Monkey Eyes” by Kenn Amdahl. All rights reserved.